The Devil's Excrement

The unbelievable political events of 2003 according to Tal Cual, which says they should be part of Ripley’s believe it or not.

1.-MVR Deputy Milagros Santana asks to participate in the debate of the National Assembly and sings “We want peace” to a nationally televised audience.

2.- In discussing the “Media Content Bill”, opposition Deputy Carlos Tablante asks Chavista Deputies:” ..in those countries there is no democracy, no free press, there is only one official media, one radio station, one newspaper, one leader. Is that what you want for your country?

The Chavista Deputies all answered in a chorus: Siiiiiiiiiii !!!

3.- Opposition leader Timoteo Zambrano called some reporters to go to the Red Cross to denounce that the President’s wife was missing. The press found her in Barquisimieto shopping for shoes as he was holding a press conference on the topic.

4.- Reporter Marta Colomina asked the President of Movimiento al Socialismo Felipe Mujica on live  TV what he thought of Chávez’ comment the previous day that his party was an empty shell. Mujica with a straight face replied: “I would tell the President that he is a son of a bitch”

5.- The US Ambassador to Venezuela held a cocktail for the media in May and hired a comedian to entertain his guests. The comedian proceeded to imitate Hugo Chávez red beret and everything in what was certainly politically incorrect for an Ambassador from any country.

6.- The Minister of Foreign Relations, who is extremely white, gave a lecture at the OAS about media that is dictatorial and racist. Claiming there are no non-white broadcasters in Venezuela, the Minister followed up by blasting Christians for its acts throughout history and proceeded to rescue his Muslims brothers. According to him, this conspiracy is also promoted by the media.

7.- Pro-Chavez Deputy Ismael Garcia called for a session outside Congress in order block the “sabotage” of opposition Deputies. When addressing the Deputies he said: We are telling the world that this process goes along with a very strong duo: The National Assembly together with President Perez…..I am sorry, President Chávez. (Garcia was once a pro-Perez Deputy too).

8. – President Hugo Chávez defended his versatility and said on TV that he could be a pitcher, a Sunday TV announcer and why not an educator. He got up on the blackboard teaching reading to some kids and proceeded to misspell a word. Trying to save the day he also used the wrong word when saying when in doubt use the dictionary. The worst part was that the ass kissers spent the next few days arguing that Chavez had used a medieval form of the word he had misspelled.

9.- Deputy Rafael Simon Jimenez was so wishy washy politically that both the pro-Chavez and opposition groups included him in their list of Deputies to be recalled. The issue was decided with a coin toss as both sides could not promote his recall. The Chavistas won the coin toss.

10.-Opposition Deputy Cesar Perez Vivas kicked pro-Chávez Deputy Iris Varela. Ms. Varela offended, started punching him in unlady-like manner, scratching his face live on National TV.

11.- The Minister of the Interior (the same one that said that Chavez had resigned on April 2002) held a press conference to explain how the opposition was ready to cause a tragedy during the “Petarazo” demonstration. Rincon showed a big blade as the “weapon” confiscated by his intelligence forces.

12.- Two MVR Deputies presented in October their ”proof” of a coup plot by the CIA in which a gringo Colonel is planning terrorist acts teaching local municipal police how to create terror. Showing one film, the Deputies revealed the second and third films, which we are still waiting for in which Wackenhut employees with the US Ambassador discuss their plan. (Still waiting….)

The unbelievable political events of 2003 according to Tal Cual, which says they should be part of Ripley’s believe it or not.

1.-MVR Deputy Milagros Santana asks to participate in the debate of the National Assembly and sings “We want peace” to a nationally televised audience.

2.- In discussing the “Media Content Bill”, opposition Deputy Carlos Tablante asks Chavista Deputies:” ..in those countries there is no democracy, no free press, there is only one official media, one radio station, one newspaper, one leader. Is that what you want for your country?

The Chavista Deputies all answered in a chorus: Siiiiiiiiiii !!!

3.- Opposition leader Timoteo Zambrano called some reporters to go to the Red Cross to denounce that the President’s wife was missing. The press found her in Barquisimieto shopping for shoes as he was holding a press conference on the topic.

4.- Reporter Marta Colomina asked the President of Movimiento al Socialismo Felipe Mujica on live  TV what he thought of Chávez’ comment the previous day that his party was an empty shell. Mujica with a straight face replied: “I would tell the President that he is a son of a bitch”

5.- The US Ambassador to Venezuela held a cocktail for the media in May and hired a comedian to entertain his guests. The comedian proceeded to imitate Hugo Chávez red beret and everything in what was certainly politically incorrect for an Ambassador from any country.

6.- The Minister of Foreign Relations, who is extremely white, gave a lecture at the OAS about media that is dictatorial and racist. Claiming there are no non-white broadcasters in Venezuela, the Minister followed up by blasting Christians for its acts throughout history and proceeded to rescue his Muslims brothers. According to him, this conspiracy is also promoted by the media.

7.- Pro-Chavez Deputy Ismael Garcia called for a session outside Congress in order block the “sabotage” of opposition Deputies. When addressing the Deputies he said: We are telling the world that this process goes along with a very strong duo: The National Assembly together with President Perez…..I am sorry, President Chávez. (Garcia was once a pro-Perez Deputy too).

8. – President Hugo Chávez defended his versatility and said on TV that he could be a pitcher, a Sunday TV announcer and why not an educator. He got up on the blackboard teaching reading to some kids and proceeded to misspell a word. Trying to save the day he also used the wrong word when saying when in doubt use the dictionary. The worst part was that the ass kissers spent the next few days arguing that Chavez had used a medieval form of the word he had misspelled.

9.- Deputy Rafael Simon Jimenez was so wishy washy politically that both the pro-Chavez and opposition groups included him in their list of Deputies to be recalled. The issue was decided with a coin toss as both sides could not promote his recall. The Chavistas won the coin toss.

10.-Opposition Deputy Cesar Perez Vivas kicked pro-Chávez Deputy Iris Varela. Ms. Varela offended, started punching him in unlady-like manner, scratching his face live on National TV.

11.- The Minister of the Interior (the same one that said that Chavez had resigned on April 2002) held a press conference to explain how the opposition was ready to cause a tragedy during the “Petarazo” demonstration. Rincon showed a big blade as the “weapon” confiscated by his intelligence forces.

12.- Two MVR Deputies presented in October their ”proof” of a coup plot by the CIA in which a gringo Colonel is planning terrorist acts teaching local municipal police how to create terror. Showing one film, the Deputies revealed the second and third films, which we are still waiting for in which Wackenhut employees with the US Ambassador discuss their plan. (Still waiting….)

The Minister of Planning is firing 26 workers from that Ministry for participating in the petition drive asking for Hugo Chavez’ recall. Currently, a decree issued by the Chavez administration prohibits firing of any career civil servant except for those that have positions qualified as “positions of trust”. However, the lawyer asking for an injunction in favor of the workers said none of those fired held such a position. The Ministry of Planning is fairly small when compared to most Ministries in the Venezuelan Government, thus the number is significant.