Things we did NOT hear today

May 31, 2005

Things we did NOT hear today:

Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court Rehnquist: Now that I wanted to go to Margarita, I might not be able to get a visa


MVR Deputy Iris Varela: I think Maria Corina and George looked very good together


US State Department: We will extradite Posada Carriles even if these guys gave us no documentation”


Fidel Castro: If the US sends Posada Carriles to Venezuela, I will extradite Shakur to the US, even if they send me no documentation


Venezuelan Chief Justice Mora: If I dont get a visa, who will go with my kids to Disneyworld this summer


Maria Corina Machado: This guy is really weird and he made a pass


Hugo Chavez: I never said I wanted to break relations with the us. Uups, sorry we did hear that


Minister of Oil Ramirez: I prefer to work with the Chinese and the Brazilians rather than the Americans, they are all about goodwill, they dont care about profits


Miss Venezuela and Miss Universe contestant Monica Spear: Jeez, they rebuilt my body, but forgot to rebuild my brain


VP Jose Vicente Rangel: You could never even come close to imagine what a mess PDVSA is in


Primero Justicia Julio Borges: They picked me, because the other guys were doing a very good job as Mayors, I was expendable


MVR Deputy Nicolas Maduro: I wish Maria Corina was my girlfriend, Celia is just too loud


COPEI President: We were going to have a meeting of the party, but nobody came


MAS President: We had a meeting of the party, but nobody came


MVR President: We dont have meetings of the party, Chavez may come


French President Jacques Chirac: Merde!


Hugo Chavez: ” I was not missing, I was misplaced”

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