I dont’t want to make this blog about me. But my country is falling apart and I haven’t lived there since my accident so what special knowledge do I have?
But I have had wonderful experiences in having people show their appreciation and they have moved me. They really liked me!
I have mentioned some of them. Like waking up and noticing that people are surprised I was alive. Or my Santiago de Leon classmates whom I left many decades ago, getting together, and sending a picture hoping that I would wake up.
But nothing beats this letter from my sister, my little sister Beatriz. She wrote it while I was in coma and gave it to me last week. She shows she loves me and the letter is superb. I am Mickey in it, a nickname she uses sometimes. The letter is amazing and you can imagine how I felt reading it! I love her!
“My beloved brother. My Mickey.
I can’t believe what is happening. I feel trapped in a nightmare! I have felt the most profound sadness!. My heart hurts. I beg God and life, that you wake up and that one day you are able to read these lines.
I know you know that I love you with all my heart. I have no regrets with you. We have given each other only beautiful things. I tell you that I love you deeply, every time I see you. I always find you terribly handsome and I have always let you know. I have caressed you’re thin grey hair a thousand times. I have the prettiest memories with you. Always laughing. So many good times. Travels. Dinners. Wine and more wine. The best conversations.
I remember that January, our traditional New Year’s barbecue. I called you to ask if I could bring Fran. You answered: your happiness is my happiness. I love you brother.
Doctors don’t know your head! It is not any brain. It is the most extraordinary brain I have met. I dream about you every night. And it is recurrent the dream where we talk about what happened. You tell me the few things that you remember. I tell you that Andres was the one who called me with the news. That we were having dinner with Ariadna. With Ari, with whom we used to go to Atlantic City together. I tell you that we took the first plane to Fort Lauderdale. That we left José alone in NY. I tell you about Kathy. How sweet it was to see her love for you. The hope we felt when we talked to you and you moved your hand. I kissed you so much in that intensive care bed. I kissed your hands. I kissed your feet. I begged you to open your eyes. We laughed about the fact that you had spent three months without drinking wine. In my dreams, I see you opening a magnum of Pesquera. Celebrating the miracle that you are.
I love you Mickey.
I feel thankful for every instant that we have shared! For every visit when I lived in NY. For your red with purple dots underwear. For each vacation in Turks. For each Saturday that you visited us in Tente-allá. For doing the monkey for me. For each barbecue! For the time we spent on the jacuzzi. For each wine. For each dinner. For the “Abadía de la retuerta”. For Venice. For biking in Italy. For your generosity. For your intelligence. For every laugh. For X and Y’s (names redacted here for privacy) story! ! For everything. For so much. For your example.
This has been a very painful process. The idea of loosing you is unbearable. I have felt infinite sadness. I can’t loose you. I don’t accept it.
Open your eyes, brother, we have so much life to share still. Open your eyes, brother, there are still many elections ahead and they all remind me of you. Open your eyes, Migue, we are going to Croatia. Open your eyes, because I need you. Because I can’t imagine being without you. Open your eyes, because I am on your team for whatever is to come. Because you are going to have so much love and support. Open your eyes. Together we can handle anything. Open your eyes, please, Mickey.
I love you
That’s it, lovely isn’t it? I cried when I read it!