The Devil's Excrement

By popular request, here is a translation of Laureano Marquez’ funny Editorial in Tal Cual today, entitled “Chavez ends royal wedding”

Madrid (EFE/TIO RICO).- Venezuelan President, Don Hugo Rafael Chávez Frías, blocked this morning the celebration of the wedding, which had been scheduled for months, between Prince Felipe and Doña Letizia Ortiz, causing a grave diplomatic incident between the Spanish Crown and the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela. This pathetic incident was the last one in a long chain of mishaps caused by the Venezuelan leader, who after saying he would not attend, decided at the last minute to attend the nuptial event. This decision forced a delay in the wedding to allow President Chavez to arrive at the Almudena.

There he was, breaking all of the norms of protocol with a sort of red cassock and, on his head, a beret of the same color. King Juan Carlos and Doña Sofía did not hide their discomfort when the Venezuelan President entered, but with the discretion that characterizes them, they ignored the event. The situation turned a little tenser when Chavez, who was carrying a stuffed iguana (a sort of Venezuelan lizard) as a wedding President, with a red bow tied around the head of the dead animal, approached the bride, braking all protocol and handed it to her. The immediate intervention of the Royal Guard blocked the President from kissing the future princess, and he was led to a plastic chair placed at the last minute to sit him near the other Latin-American Presidents. Despite this, he shamed the bride by saying in a loud voice “Letizia, tonight you are going to get it” (Venezuelan expression which means you are going to screw). Once in his place, Chavez continued to interrupt the wedding when he greeted, with screams of “My brother, how is your vaina going?” (Venezuelan expression which means what’s up buddy) to the Presidents of Brazil and Argentina.

The moment of biggest tension took place just at the moment when the Archbishop of Madrid, Antonio Maria Rouco, pronounced the well-know liturgical formula at weddings where those present are asked if any of them oppose the act, indicating that they should “speak up now or be silent forever”. At that instant, the Venezuelan President, as if driven by a spring coil, jumped out of his seat and with two jumps was at the high altar, taking the microphone away from Monsignor Rouco. While the latter was stupefied, the Venezuelan President said: “I oppose it” and began a long winded speech in which he exposed the reasons to block the royal wedding. Among many other things, President Chávez said that what the world was watching there was “another example of the most rancid world oligarchs which oppress people and make nations poorer”. He also said that that with all of the money being spent on the wedding he could have launched three Robinson plans in Venezuela” (Note: Plans to have people graduate from high school). The tensest moment occurred when alluding directly to the King; he accused him of having something to do with the Colombian paramilitary force caught in Caracas, which was detected about two weeks ago. He called Don Juan Carlos a “paraking”.

Immediately, he threatened with declaring war with Spain and warned that nation that 200 years ago Bolivar defeated a Borbón and “I would have no difficulty in defeating another one”

Lastly, he declared that the wedding had no validity because the wedding certificate of the civil ceremony celebrated a few days earlier in Madrid was of the same calligraphy or “plana”, not authentic and that Felipe and Letizia (he treated them with such familiarity) should go to the Constitutional Court of Spain to demonstrate that those signatures were effectively theirs.

By direct instructions of King Juan Carlos, the Royal Guard took the President outside of the Almudena. The King approached the Archbishop of Madrid to talk to him briefly and they agreed to postpone the wedding for the next day, while, from the door to the basilica, one could hear the deranged screams of the President challenging the King saying: “Juan Carlos, here I am waiting for you, come out to see if you are arrecho (tough guy in Venezuela)”. He stayed there screaming until the Guardia Civil took him directly to the airport.

From today’s Miami Herald:

Not so funny when you think about it…..

From today’s Miami Herald:

Not so funny when you think about it…..

Tomorrow will be the first day for people to ratify or repair their sinature for the petitions to recall both pro-Chavez and opposition Deputies to the National Assembly. Unfortunately it has been raining a lot in the last few days which threatens to make the job more difficult. It would be a pity if the process is hampered by the weather. The process will last three days. Next week, the process for the signatures for the petition to recall Hugo Chavez will take place on the same days of the week, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Hopefully tomorrow the sun will shine, but it does not look very good short term.

Tomorrow will be the first day for people to ratify or repair their sinature for the petitions to recall both pro-Chavez and opposition Deputies to the National Assembly. Unfortunately it has been raining a lot in the last few days which threatens to make the job more difficult. It would be a pity if the process is hampered by the weather. The process will last three days. Next week, the process for the signatures for the petition to recall Hugo Chavez will take place on the same days of the week, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Hopefully tomorrow the sun will shine, but it does not look very good short term.

El Foro por la Vida, a coalition of human rights organizations condemned today the threats on the life of Liliana Ortega. Ortega, the Head of COFAVIC has been receiving threats and pamphlets against her have been thrown at the entrance of the building where that organization has her office. The pamphlets say “Am I getting paid to defend the rights of the crooks from the opposition” and say “May she rest in peace”.

Ortega is one of the leading fighters against human rights violations in Venezuela and has done, in my opinion, an incredible and consistent job over the last fifteen years.

How low can people stoop to?

El Foro por la Vida, a coalition of human rights organizations condemned today the threats on the life of Liliana Ortega. Ortega, the Head of COFAVIC has been receiving threats and pamphlets against her have been thrown at the entrance of the building where that organization has her office. The pamphlets say “Am I getting paid to defend the rights of the crooks from the opposition” and say “May she rest in peace”.

Ortega is one of the leading fighters against human rights violations in Venezuela and has done, in my opinion, an incredible and consistent job over the last fifteen years.

How low can people stoop to?

I simply translate what our illustrious Minister of Health said in Geneva. Did he think nobody was listening? Is this guy as idiotic as he sounds? Will he go back to fixing varicose veins soon? You be the judge:

Venezuela intends to put under state control private medicine institutions, among them hospitals and insurance companies, said the Minister of Health Roger Capella, accusing these companies of benefiting without investing anything.

“We are going to rescue what the private organizations robbed and kidnapped from the state” said Capella where he is attending the WHO meeting.

We have financed (??) the private system in Venezuela that has taken advantage of the money of the State, said the Minister at a meeting with reporters.

Capella specified that “we are not taking anything from anyone; we are recovering what was slowly given to private groups during five decades, damaging public health in the country”

“The private sector did not invest one cent (??), they only made money”, said Capella who specified that the process of controlling those companies would take two to three years.

The Minister of Health noted that among the private insurance that he wants to place under state control there are companies “both national as well as multinational’, among them some European and Spanish ones.

He said the objective of the Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, will be to implement a unified public health system that would group all 68 public institutions that currently exist.
  
He said that currently the health system in Venezuela functions in disperse fashion, fragmented and uncoordinated, and of course, totally inefficient”.

There is no national orientation for expenditures, said Capella who pointed out that public health expenditures have tripled in the last few years and represent 4% of GDP, but if you add all resources it reaches 10 to 12%.

For now, all I will say on this issue is that Mr. Capella is famous for putting his foot in his mouth. I think the Government will not welcome these statements and most likely they will deny he ever said that. He has been Vice-Minister and Minister during much of this increase in budget (which is in Bolivars, so it is not real), if it is run inefficiently, he has had a huge share of responsibility in it. As far as I know, there has never been public financing of private medicine in Venezuela. In fact, many years ago, I was in a committee that rejected purchasing a piece of equipment for a medical doctor for scientific research because the equipment would go in the office where he had his private practice. I also wonder whether he plans to put under state control his clinics for varicose veins…

The Directors of Sumate held a press conference to inform the public that they have been asked to go to the Attorney General’s office to testify as “accused” in the case of the contribution by the National Endowment for Democracy from the US to their cause. NED contributed $53,400 to Sumate’s efforts. Curiously, the same Attorney General never found any cause for concern with the illegal campaign contribution by Banco Bilbao y Viscaya to Hugo Chavez’ presidential campaign. That contribution was not only illegal, but was never reported by Chavez’ MVR, despite this, the Attorney General never pressed charges. (By the way, NED gave over US$ 1 million in contributions in Venezuela to 15 projects in 2003 alone, how come Sumate is the only one under investigation)

The Directors of Sumate held a press conference to inform the public that they have been asked to go to the Attorney General’s office to testify as “accused” in the case of the contribution by the National Endowment for Democracy from the US to their cause. NED contributed $53,400 to Sumate’s efforts. Curiously, the same Attorney General never found any cause for concern with the illegal campaign contribution by Banco Bilbao y Viscaya to Hugo Chavez’ presidential campaign. That contribution was not only illegal, but was never reported by Chavez’ MVR, despite this, the Attorney General never pressed charges. (By the way, NED gave over US$ 1 million in contributions in Venezuela to 15 projects in 2003 alone, how come Sumate is the only one under investigation)