Once in while, we all need a light moment. I know I had one, so let me share it with you, from today’s El Universal:
The truth for the world by Elides Rojas
“My comrade Ambassadors, you came here for only one thing: To listen to me. That is, you will have the immense pleasure of listening to the same litany of stupidities that I say all the time in the streets, but with the unbeatable advantage of having me in front of you, for as long as I want.
Thus, let’s be precise from the beginning, the roles we will play in the next hours: Number One: I have the right to speak. The truth is mine. Number Two: You, my dear and honorable comrades, you listen, swallow it and believe me. It’s easy. You will not need your brain for anything. Of course, all of this under a fundamental premise: If George “doble” Bush is an asshole because he believed that the military was with me, I presume that all of those that do not believe me are equally assholes, thus, you decided what you want to be.
Let’s see what we are dealing with. Everything that is happening in the country in the last few days does not exist, it never happened. You understand. The media has taken it upon itself to build a horrible reality that, because of the script which is part of the conspiracy, has impacted the world, and very specially, to those Governments that can be manipulated and are weak of understanding. The pronouncements by nations, high Government officials, and non-Government organizations are absolutely invalid. I have not seen one. I have read about them in the press or those I have seen on TV or on the radio. Nothing tangible. That, as you well know, is sufficient to place them under observation and subject to ratification.
The truth is that this irrational, coupster, saboteur and violent opposition, can’t see a bayonet because its throws itself on it. We have several videos of that, like those of April 11th. in which we can appreciate reality. Another problem that we confront is the addiction people have to tear gas canisters. They can’t live without the smoke. Every once in a while they go looking for it, En masse. About this, which has us very concerned, I have instructed the interplanetary General, yes the other one with three suns, so that he organizes it and has a sort of mega market. That way we can give away quotas of bayonets, sticks and tear gas in orderly fashion, with their respective lines, in Ave. Bolivar.
The stuff about the shots and the deaths is another conspirative lie. It’s just like the signatures and the recall referendum. I have the proofs here. Nobody saw anyone signing. The media invented the lines of people signing which in reality correspond to people visiting the Presidential Palace to kiss my hand. To touch me. That happens daily. They are intent on saying that they got the signatures to get me out of here, but in reality they are crazy for me to stay.
You, my honorable comrades and friends, whatever, go to your countries, like if you were clones of William Lara or Ismael Garcia and tell your Governments the truth, the only one.
And now more than ever, when you are surely convinced that what we have here is a conspiracy directed by “doble” Bush and his lackeys at the OAS, a thing that without any chance of being wrong, you unanimously share with me. No doubt about it.
Go then comrades. Repeat, he is a democrat, Incapable of violating human rights. Integral, serious. Always tells the truth. And daring like he is, he would give his life to go to the recall referendum to show how great he is.
What a piece of work!