The Devil's Excrement

If I did not know Felix Tapia and what a serious and responsible guy he is, I may not have believed this pamphlet which is being distributed around the country of the Ten Reasons to vote Yes for Hugo Chavez. If this pamphlet works, then it is clear that I have a very good BS detector and most people don’t. I simply had to translate this garbage for you:

1. Because Chavez loves us and love needs to be paid with love.
2. Because Chavez loves us and is thus incapable of harming us. If he proposes the amendment we know, we feel, he does it for our own good, that of the country and the revolution. He has demonstrated total unselfishness when it relates to the good of the people. Let us remember he placed his military career at risk to get us out of the hopeless black hole that the Government’s of the IVth. Republic used to be. None of the oligarchs has taken the risk for the people and his cause, on the contrary at the first sign of difficulties they shake like headless chickens and run to an Embassy. We now see impostors making themselves look like friends of the humble, they have always looked down on us and they have never sacrificed anything for the poor.
3. Because Chavez and us are one in our goal of providing the citizens with the largest amount of happiness possible. The people with Chavez acquire acquire true power, which is to fuse ourselves with the person governing, be one alone with him, conquering the true Government of the people.
4. Because we are all Chavez and and we express ourselves in him and and with him. To vote with Chavez is to vote for us.To vote for the oligarchs is to vote for our executioners.
5. Because together we make mistakes and together we get it right. With Chavez we are making a Government that is people and people that are Government. Together we begin the beautiful adventure of building a world where man can realize itself with no other limitations than his own abilities.
6. Because when we approve the amendment we strengthen Chavez and strengthen ourselves so that we can purify, rectify and advance, all within the revolution. And without the revolution the hope of the humble dies, we will enter the abyss reserved to the people that surrendered themselves to the praises of their predators.
7. Because without Chavez we will lose the opportunity of showing the Continent, showing humanity, that the path to hell that capitalism proposes can be avoided, that there is hope, that a viable and happy world is plausible, that humanity has a future.
8. Because if the oligarchs govern again, it will be a Government of owners against the humble and destitute, then we will be reduced once again to the life of material and spiritual misery that we had in the Fourth (Republic). Without any hope!
9. Because without Chavez we will postpone once gain the Bolivarian dream. The days of San Pedro Alejandrino can not be repeated, now we will be Paso de los Andes, Ayacucho Carabobo. The memory of the Liberators will not be dishonored. The people do not hand over their kids or their leaders, they don’t exchange their dignity for a plate of lentils.
10. Because with the amendment we will be showing: That we are people that deserve the opportunity to build a world where human relations are determined by by fraternity and love. Never again shall we be negative people, selfish, small, that exchange their future for little mirrors, for sand, for the promises of its executioners.

There you have it, this is all so ludricous, that if you can find one or two of the reasons that you agree with, I think you should consider voting for the SI!