From the amazing tongue (and brain!) of Hugo Chavez

January 17, 2010

So Chavez gave his State of Disarray of the Union speech on Friday and it was as nutty and disastrous as the country:

–He named Jorge Giordani Minister of Planning AND Finance. The man responsible for the bad state of the Venezuelan economy  as well as the electric grid is now given more power than ever. I guess Chavez had to join the two ministries now that Jesse is not around. At least Jesse knows that he doesn’t know.

–Since crime has become the number one problem for Venezuelans, he had to say something about it, but it did not come out too credible. Said the Dictator:”Crime and violence is a political problem and one of the greatest enemies of the Bolivarian revolution. I have no doubt that the crime and many of those criminals bands are trained, financed and backed by the counterrevolutionary bourgeois, the Yankee empire and its lackeys.” Unfortunately for Hugo this will not fly in the barrios where they have not seen a cop, a bourgeois or a Yankee in the last eleven years as crime by their own has soared.

–He once again spewed out the BS about Coltan, which I wrote about earlier. The charlatan now thinks it is worth US$ 100 billion. Well, if it is a money losing proposition, then it is really worthless and if it is in Venezuela manged by Chavez and his incompetent robolutionaries, it is worth even less. Oil use to be the sure thng, but in eleven years Chavez and his brilliant cronies have been unable to come up with a single new project that has generated a single new barrel of oil.

–Chavez said that the Venezuelan economy is fine, not like the US, because the US’s economy generated unemployment. Well, you have to be ignorant to believe that an economy can shrink 2.9% like the Venezuelan one and not lose jobs. Oh! by the way Hugo, the Venezuelan economy shrank more than the US’s in 2009. (Which shrank by 1.9% a full point above Venezuela’s). And inflation is going to top 60%, but has anyone told Hugo?

–Chavez says he is a Marxist but never read Das Kapital. That’s like me saying I love West Indies cricket and don’t understand the game.

–Chavez called for the Vatican’s representative’s building to be exorcized because it held a rapist in its walls. Once again Chavez assumes someone is guilty until proven innocent and he personally becomes Judge and Jury. What else is new?

–And once again, Hugo said he would revalue, because the swap rate is going to Bs. 4.3 per dollar. He was probably assured this by the same bullshitters that told him in September they would drive it down to 65% above the Bs. 2.15 per dollars. Maybe they think that if they keep increasing the official rate, they will find convergence. the problem is they keep running the Government and don’t realize that it is not a problem of magnitudes but of policies. They drove the swap rate down below Bs. 5 briefly, because they spent US$ 11 billion in bond sales. But four months after the rate is near Bs. 6 per dollar and it would be hard for them to issue  11 billion dollars more. Meanwhile, Chavez is taking US$ 7 billion from international reserves. Given OPEC’s high current capacity, if oil prices drop, this could be catastrophic.

16 Responses to “From the amazing tongue (and brain!) of Hugo Chavez”

  1. Bill Simpson of Slidell USA Says:

    He is planning to use the niobium in the coltan to make rocket nozzles. You guys are getting a space program !!!

  2. Floyd Looney Says:

    We have invaded Haiti for their mountains of gold and treasure and all that oil wealth, lol.

  3. concerned Says:

    To go further…like one step too far past the edge of a Tepui, maybe during a name changing ceremony at the top of Angel Falls.

  4. deananash Says:

    Roger, that’s brilliant. this is exactly the sort of sarcasm that I’ve been promoting. Encourage Chavez to go further, trap him in his own foolishness. The “3 Strikes” banner is another outstanding example.

  5. Roger Says:

    I have been waiting for Chavez to “Re-Value” the Watt/hour to solve the power crisis! Make the Watt 20% larger than it was last week, the problem is solved. Si? Hell, why not have several? Power could be calculated using Bolivarian Watts or whatever depending on who is buying or selling it. Why not? Who cares if 1 watt = 1Joule? He revalues the money that way right?
    I don’t think money is much different its just the credit-futures thing. If you were working with say Pinetree Schillings weighing them would be just like weighing a Kilogram mass with a known coil to calculate watts.

  6. Charly Says:

    Martin, fortunately the Chavistas are so incompetent they could not run an ass kicking contest, so mass terror and totalitarianism? Uh, ah!

  7. Martin Says:

    The Capital is to obscure for most people. As is in general most of Marx’s and Engel’s works. Also, they contain almost only criticism of capitalism with in essence no prescriptions for how actual socialism should work or take power. As such they are not really dangerous.

    Unfortunately, Chavez has read and praised Lenin’s “The State and the Revolution”. Likely the book that caused most human suffering in history. It very explicitly argues for the use of mass terror and totalitarianism during and after the revolution (sometimes in a future utopia when all people are selfless “new men” with this will no longer be necessary).

    Seriously, I would get out of Venezuela while still possible. The plan described in this book was followed when the Marxist-Leninists took power in all Communist states and the proscribed mass terror, especially initially while consolidating power, was always horrendous.

  8. Pedro Garcia Says:

    Even though he recognizes that he has never read The Capital, President Chavez has proclaimed himself “marxist” in several opportunities…I guess his favorite is Groucho…although Harpo could be a better role model…..

  9. moctavio Says:

    I was only talking about his FRiday speech, too much editorial contribution from Chavez.

  10. HalfEmpty Says:

    I must be missing something. Why would yankee imperialist bourgeois want to “finance” Venezuelan street crime? Lackeys? Lackeys don’t have any money or initiative, Hugo knows that, he has plenty of lackeys.

    Same reason we invaded Haiti. For the money of course!


  11. I think I got it! The Chavistas are imperialists lackeys! And they know they are financing crime! And working hard to undermine the government! That’s the answer: They PSUV is a CIA operation and everything is explained.

  12. Robert Says:

    You missed his comment that the yanquis have invaded Haiti……..

  13. daniel Says:

    Guess that yankee imperialist bourgeois “finance” Venezuela crime, as a desperate last effort, to shade the amazing bolivarian revolution achievements, that the whole world is talking about

  14. Floyd Looney Says:

    I must be missing something. Why would yankee imperialist bourgeois want to “finance” Venezuelan street crime? Lackeys? Lackeys don’t have any money or initiative, Hugo knows that, he has plenty of lackeys.

    Insane.

  15. Quico T Says:

    ”Crime and violence is a political problem and one of the greatest enemies of the Bolivarian revolution. I have no doubt that the crime and many of those criminals bands are trained, financed and backed by the counterrevolutionary bourgeois, the Yankee empire and its lackeys.”

    No te creo que el carajo rebuznó esa vaina!

    Total craziness…


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