The Devil's Excrement

Sometimes writing this blog is quite hard. Not hard because ideas do not come, the muse not providing the necessary inspiration, but exactly the opposite. The ability of this Government to top itself never ceases to amaze me and the readers of this blog. You have to wonder by what mechanism, by what labyrinthic and tortuous path, many of the people who are part of the Chavez administration arrived at their logic, their ideas and worst of all, their total lack of comprehension of what ethics and compassion are all about.

But in a larger sense, you have to worry about how easy it has been for Chavez to assemble and continuously reassemble this band of incompetent and  improvised “know it alls”, who feel that because once they took a three day seminar on a topic, they are ready to assume the highest post in that field in the country. And soon after assuming the position, they hold a press conference and with a straight face they pontificate about something they know little about, knowing that they are either lying through their teeth or are simply improvising, inventing as their tongue moves and the neurons try to catch up with the movement of that muscle.

It all becomes very bizarre and confusing, as I sit here trying to explain the unexplainable, transmit something which may seem more like a chapter of the Twilight Zone than people trying to run a country, even under a revolution.

The worst part is that they get away with it, as if there are hundreds of thousands of them out there, ready to step up to the plate if called. Much like Chavez wanting to go to Shea Stadium; pitch to Sammy Sosa, simply because he once wanted to be a ballplayer.

Unfortunately, he also wanted to be President and he got there, surrounded by thousands who once dreamt of bering driven around by a chauffer, holding a big Government position because they know they are good at something, even if they were last in their class, never graduated, never held a steady job, were bad at their professions or have never dealt with the job at hand.

Thus, we see former military officers who never rose very high in rank, become heads of intelligence, after a brief apprenticeship as a stripper, later to become head of the national training Institute and now President of the land Institute, What’s next? Who knows? Any position is game,. Being Head of PDVSA or Minister of Finance require little preparation or understanding of the subject. After all, there have been eight of them in six years.  Managing a 40,000 worker corporation is such an easy job that it is combined with Ministries. Finding a wise, balanced and honest judge is so easy that the Supreme Court is expanded from a rather large 20 Justices to 32 overnight. People with no background in Finance are named to run banks, the Ministry of Finance or implement complex exchange control systems. There is no limit, let’s start a space program to defend our sovereignty. But say it with a staright and convincing face.

When I was in science I used to jokingly say that Venezuela was a country of amateurs. I was amazed at people who called themselves scientists, but seldom published anything. I remember laughing at one of them who told me that he did not understand why he should publish regularly, what if he did not have anything important to say? But at least he had the training and once in a great while he did have something to say, even if it was not that important. I also used to laugh at planners who would attempt to explain to me how the scientific process works. But at least they had read books about it !

Nothing like that happens in the revolution. We are now a country of revolutionary amateurs, where the word revolutionary gives them license to imagine and create beyond reason or measure, how they think things should work. Don’t have money: Devalue. Need more money: Sell something. Science is good: let’s buy computers. We don’t produce enough: Expropriate land. We don’t produce enough: Import Food and sell it at cost.  Don’t like a legal decision by a judge: Remove him. Don’t like to be criticized: Jail those that do it. Don’t have an airline: Create one. Don’t like elections: Cheat in them.

The amateur revolution is so absurd that one can blog daily about bizarre statements, plans, contradictions. It is so naïve that Chavez can say for the eleventh time that he will reduce unemployment and people applaud. That every forty days the Government announces that in another forty days it will announce a solution to a problem, only to announce another announcement afterwards, forgetting about the original one.

And on days like today, there is so much absurdity that it is hard to know even where to start. Should I just stop repeating myself? Should I simply report the stupidest thing said each day? Or the most bizarre? Or the most absurd? Or the most imaginative? Or the most inconsistent one? Or the most cynical? Or the most illegal? Or the most unethical? Or the most dangerous one?

Let’s try a single statement for one second to see if it fits any of these categories as a simple (or very complex!) example: The Attorney General issued a press release this week that said:

“With the objective of providing continuity to a series of removals and reassignments within the Public Ministry, actions which are oriented to propel an institution with more integrity and honesty”

The way I read these statements is: We have a bunch of crooks and unethical prosecutors in the Ministry, thus we are getting rid and reassigning a lot of them and this does not end here, there is more to come.

Now, there have been no announcements of unethical things going on and the Attorney General’s office, an unethical prosecutor without integrity should be prosecuted and jailed, no? So, if you haven’t announced anything abnormal and what you do is the opposite with your daily defense of your office and their people, would you release this statement? Am I nuts, or is this as absurd as it sounds?

This statement actually qualifies for at least seven of the nine categories I proposed, so it seems very impractical to try make my blog so simple. Thus, I think I will continue covering the amateur revolution the way I have, even if it means dozens of daily pieces on the thousand twists, turns and faces of the amateur revolution, even if it sounds like something right out of the twilight zone. If it sounds too bizarre, humm in your head the music from that program!

Sometimes writing this blog is quite hard. Not hard because ideas do not come, the muse not providing the necessary inspiration, but exactly the opposite. The ability of this Government to top itself never ceases to amaze me and the readers of this blog. You have to wonder by what mechanism, by what labyrinthic and tortuous path, many of the people who are part of the Chavez administration arrived at their logic, their ideas and worst of all, their total lack of comprehension of what ethics and compassion are all about.

But in a larger sense, you have to worry about how easy it has been for Chavez to assemble and continuously reassemble this band of incompetent and  improvised “know it alls”, who feel that because once they took a three day seminar on a topic, they are ready to assume the highest post in that field in the country. And soon after assuming the position, they hold a press conference and with a straight face they pontificate about something they know little about, knowing that they are either lying through their teeth or are simply improvising, inventing as their tongue moves and the neurons try to catch up with the movement of that muscle.

It all becomes very bizarre and confusing, as I sit here trying to explain the unexplainable, transmit something which may seem more like a chapter of the Twilight Zone than people trying to run a country, even under a revolution.

The worst part is that they get away with it, as if there are hundreds of thousands of them out there, ready to step up to the plate if called. Much like Chavez wanting to go to Shea Stadium; pitch to Sammy Sosa, simply because he once wanted to be a ballplayer.

Unfortunately, he also wanted to be President and he got there, surrounded by thousands who once dreamt of bering driven around by a chauffer, holding a big Government position because they know they are good at something, even if they were last in their class, never graduated, never held a steady job, were bad at their professions or have never dealt with the job at hand.

Thus, we see former military officers who never rose very high in rank, become heads of intelligence, after a brief apprenticeship as a stripper, later to become head of the national training Institute and now President of the land Institute, What’s next? Who knows? Any position is game,. Being Head of PDVSA or Minister of Finance require little preparation or understanding of the subject. After all, there have been eight of them in six years.  Managing a 40,000 worker corporation is such an easy job that it is combined with Ministries. Finding a wise, balanced and honest judge is so easy that the Supreme Court is expanded from a rather large 20 Justices to 32 overnight. People with no background in Finance are named to run banks, the Ministry of Finance or implement complex exchange control systems. There is no limit, let’s start a space program to defend our sovereignty. But say it with a staright and convincing face.

When I was in science I used to jokingly say that Venezuela was a country of amateurs. I was amazed at people who called themselves scientists, but seldom published anything. I remember laughing at one of them who told me that he did not understand why he should publish regularly, what if he did not have anything important to say? But at least he had the training and once in a great while he did have something to say, even if it was not that important. I also used to laugh at planners who would attempt to explain to me how the scientific process works. But at least they had read books about it !

Nothing like that happens in the revolution. We are now a country of revolutionary amateurs, where the word revolutionary gives them license to imagine and create beyond reason or measure, how they think things should work. Don’t have money: Devalue. Need more money: Sell something. Science is good: let’s buy computers. We don’t produce enough: Expropriate land. We don’t produce enough: Import Food and sell it at cost.  Don’t like a legal decision by a judge: Remove him. Don’t like to be criticized: Jail those that do it. Don’t have an airline: Create one. Don’t like elections: Cheat in them.

The amateur revolution is so absurd that one can blog daily about bizarre statements, plans, contradictions. It is so naïve that Chavez can say for the eleventh time that he will reduce unemployment and people applaud. That every forty days the Government announces that in another forty days it will announce a solution to a problem, only to announce another announcement afterwards, forgetting about the original one.

And on days like today, there is so much absurdity that it is hard to know even where to start. Should I just stop repeating myself? Should I simply report the stupidest thing said each day? Or the most bizarre? Or the most absurd? Or the most imaginative? Or the most inconsistent one? Or the most cynical? Or the most illegal? Or the most unethical? Or the most dangerous one?

Let’s try a single statement for one second to see if it fits any of these categories as a simple (or very complex!) example: The Attorney General issued a press release this week that said:

“With the objective of providing continuity to a series of removals and reassignments within the Public Ministry, actions which are oriented to propel an institution with more integrity and honesty”

The way I read these statements is: We have a bunch of crooks and unethical prosecutors in the Ministry, thus we are getting rid and reassigning a lot of them and this does not end here, there is more to come.

Now, there have been no announcements of unethical things going on and the Attorney General’s office, an unethical prosecutor without integrity should be prosecuted and jailed, no? So, if you haven’t announced anything abnormal and what you do is the opposite with your daily defense of your office and their people, would you release this statement? Am I nuts, or is this as absurd as it sounds?

This statement actually qualifies for at least seven of the nine categories I proposed, so it seems very impractical to try make my blog so simple. Thus, I think I will continue covering the amateur revolution the way I have, even if it means dozens of daily pieces on the thousand twists, turns and faces of the amateur revolution, even if it sounds like something right out of the twilight zone. If it sounds too bizarre, humm in your head the music from that program!