Archive for March 13th, 2013

Dizzy From The Dazzling Chavista Wisdom Coming Out Of Venezuela

March 13, 2013


I am a little dizzy from the torrent of dazzling Chavista wisdom coming out of the Government and its cohorts in the last forty eight hours or so. So many times during that period, I have asked myself: Did he really say that? or Holy S…! But it is all true, the ability of Chavismo to innovate and say the darndest things is truly incredible. But rather than kill myself writing posts about them, here is one with all the highlights:

The Supernatural I: Former Attorney General and current Venezuelan Ambassador to Italy Isaias Rodriguez, said he talked to Chávez “mentally”, he said it was a two way conversation, a “mystical” experience. I have no doubt about it Isaias, sort of when you looked at that fake witness in the eye and knew he was telling the truth.

Gives a new meaning to the word “mental”, No?

The Supernatural II: None other than Nico himself, told us that Hugo Chávez had an influence from heaven so that the Pope would be South American. (Does Nico know the new Pope is a staunch Kirchner opponent? But in the end Nico, this is not soccer, this is serious religious stuff) Nico said that Chávez was with Christ and that soon there might be a Constituent Assembly in Heaven.

You can´t make this stuff up, this atheists believe in so little, that they even dare suggest that you know who is in Heaven, rather than in the antipodes of Heaven, let alone anywhere near those that they don´t believe in. That must be why they can invoke all these names in vain.

It does not get more Bananai Republici than this.

The Scientists I: And then, of course there is the formal Government investigation into how the cancer that killed Chávez was induced. Never mind that we don’t even know what type of cancer it was, no Doctor has ever told us about what Chávez was diagnosed with, but Nico has the gall to tell us, that it was a very particular type of cancer, making it sound ominous. Of course, the only type of cancer that can be induced would require a radiation source placed very close to the victim for a long time, so Nico better watch out and start searching and looking, because otherwise he is done with in a very short time too.

And then the president of PDVSA Rafael Ramirez comes and tells us that it is not a matter of belief, but that he is “convinced” that Chávez was assassinated, just like Arafat. The latter will be news to the Palestinians who have been unable to prove that. And they have tried.

But more importantly, here is the President of Venezuela’s most important company, which is supposed to need science and technology to compete and lead the country with its oil production, but he expresses urban legend types of beliefs and essentially, absolute ignorance about what he is taking about. No wonder they destroyed its science and technology institute.

But I have to wonder why the US did not kill Fidel? Just as an example. I guess those Americans really hate the Cubans.

By this time we are more and more into banana brain mentality.

Let me make a point: And then Bloomberg reports that Russia’s Lukoil has been temporarily suspended from participating in the Faja Heavy oil projects until the company explains statements by the Vice-President of Lukoil to the effect that Venezuela could increase significantly its oil output, but:

“But you need a quiet situation, stability in contracts and a good situation for investment”

What is the answer to that? Well Lukoil, remember your contract? We are temporarily suspending it, until you explain why you said what you said and if you mean to say it.

A Mathematician would say “Quod Erat Demonstrandum” (QED):

Thank you for making my point Mr. Ramirez.

Improvisation: And remember that Chávez was going to be embalmed forever and ever and placed in a glass casket so that everyone could see him?

Well, it turns out that despite having all the time in the world to plan it, nobody followed up on it and it apparently can’t be done now. It’s too late. The Venezuelan Government brought “scientists (???)”* from Russia and Germany and these rocket scientists on mummification say the process should have started sooner after Chávez death. So, the same guys that sent Chávez to Cuba to be taken care of, now brought “experts” from Russia to see how you do a process known for centuries. They don’t call them mommies for nothing. But Chavsimo calls it science. I guess making an arepa must be science to good old Nico, el chico.

This is making Isaias look good by now.

Respect and Lies: And then we get Chávez’ daughter asking for “respect”. Her father was very sick for two years and we don’t yet know what we had. We don’t know what he was operated for. Two weeks ago, he was “fine”, spending hours on running the country and then all of a sudden he was worse and died.

Funny, that is what the opposition has been saying all along, that he was ill and was going to die.

But neither Chávez, nor his daughter had any “respect” for Chavistas who believed the tale that he was better and he kept running for President and made them go and vote for him, even as he knew he was dying. Many people knew in May 2011 that he was sick, even your humble Devil wrote about it. And Chavez lied. And he was operated on. And he lied. And he got cancer again. And he lied. And he ran for President knowing he was going to die. And he lied.

You don’t believe me? Here is Hugo himself:

lying and accusing the opposition about inventing his illness and the fact that he is going to die. That he had the backing of more than 60% of Venezuela (lost 5% before the election?) and above all, he kept running and cheating on his supporters and disrespecting them. Betraying them in the end. Just choosing Nico, may be the biggest betrayal of all.

Some respect…

And by now, there is a lot of more betraying going on. Today the Minister for Energy and Oil also announced that the price of the non-existent fx market will be brought down.Funny, the Minister of Finance was nowhere to be seen. Nor were the details of how they would do it.

They say they will create SITME 2, new rules, new friends, new arbitrages, but all smoke and mirrors in the end.

Single question: Who will supply foreign currency to the system. Who? Just tell me. Who?

Just asking…

But they talk about respect.

*Journal For Modern Embalming Science anyone?