Former
Professor and University President Ivan Olaizola also had something to say
about the acquisition of the 100,000 rifles by the Venezuelan Army in today’s
Tal Cual (by subscription). I thought it was not only good, but clever and
it would be worth translating for you all.
And the rifles arrived by Ivan Olaizola
At last the moment has arrived. Another day for the annals of the history of
the homeland. 30 thousand beautiful AK-103 rifles, specially designed by Mr. Kalashnikov for the Bolivarian revolution, pretty, armed and
peaceful. The truth is that the ceremony of the opening of the first box of
rifles, in front of a thick, truly really thick group of high military
officials of the also tall military command, headed by the Minister of Defense
himself, the thickest one of them all, and a true, a really true Admiral, with three
suns, of those that have sailed the seven seas, was something that is hard to
describe. The official announcer of the TV channel that belongs to MVRTV, had
his voice broken over, he could not contain himself in the face of such a
historical and transcendental ceremony. We heard the voice of the Minister
giving the order to some underlings, all with gloves and their mouths covered,
that they could open the first box of rifles. With care, a lot of care, because
they are the jewels of the revolution.
The Minister
raised the first specimen. Here it is my Commander in Chief, holding the first
AK-103, which weighed 4.1 Kilos. And at a cost of US$ 386.22 (something like
Bs. 850,000)
To hell with the FAL’s (the previous rifles of the Venezuelan Armed
Forces). Now get your bayonet out with care.
Beautiful
instrument of fine craftsmanship that can cut a hair in the air, as people say.
One could see in a brief glimpse the boxes which contained the two and a half
million bullets of 7.62 caliber. In the background, a dove fluttered around
during the ceremony. Those that were accompanying the Minister had misty eyes;
it was all emotion, maximum adrenalin, 120 beats per minute. And it could not
be any other way. In the remote distance the supreme leader of this process
licked his lips and rubbed his hands. Total revolutionary orgasm.
Puerto
Cabello
also paid its respects, its usually calm waters choppy with giant waves to
greet the revolutionary and pacific particiapants of the event.
But there was more.
The remainder 70 thousand AK-103 will arrive for Christmas as a present of the
God Child, not from Santa.
And our skies were cut through by 15 Russian helicopters: 6
MI17, 8 MI-35 and one MI-26 and 18 and more are on the way. But the peaceful
list does not end there. There are also orders for fighter planes, submarines,
torpedoes, missiles, bombs, grenades, mines, tanks and convoy vehicles. The
Russian ship ANYA has cargoes for a few months. Mission Peace, we could call
it. Billions of dollars for peace. Thus declared the Vice President of the
Republic. Write it down well, mister reporter, so you don’t twist the news,
noted Ministers Aristobulo and Moncada. You can write in your article that the
AK-103’s are for the revolution like pencils, notebooks, computers, desks and
books.
This revolution has provided us with beautiful days, with
shining sun and soft breeze, but I doubt any other one like this one.
Let the schools and the Bolivarian high schools and the
universities wait. Pensioned off teachers should be patient.
Potholes will be covered and bridges repaired. The victims
of natural disasters will be dignified. No more Vargas, no more viaducts.
No more kids in
the streets. There will be no more blackouts, nor water shortages, but the
lemna will indeed be gone. Healthcare for everyone. From the arsenal of the
Armed Forces in Maracay, where they
were taken to be custodied, they will be distributed to all the defenders of
the pretty and peaceful revolution with 30 cartridges per charge, so they can
fire 30 kisses of love for their fellow human beings. At the tip of ethe barrel
of each AK-103 there is a flower of hope. Mi wife whispers at mi ear: didn’t
you tell me once that someone invented a machine to cut necks with and they
tested it with him? The truth is I don’t understand, what does that have to do
with this?
The Devil's Excrement 
