Venezuela Creates Vice Ministry For Supreme Happiness

October 25, 2013


In the latest move by the Maduro Government, the Vice-Presidency for the Supreme Social Happiness of of the Venezuelan people was created this week. While many have laughed at the idea, I disagree. I think this office was badly needed and will play an important role in celebrating life in Venezuela and making its citizens happy.

While there have been no details as to what the office will do, I can think of so many ways that it can celebrate and promote the happiness of all Venezuelans, particularly by pointing out happy events around the country, of which there are so many.

As an example, the Vice-Ministry could make sure to interview on TV anyone who managed to buy a package of corn flour, which has become one of the supreme moments of any Venezuelan’s life in the the last few months. And even if you think that finding toilet paper is another such happy moment, the Vice-Ministry could celebrate not only the finding of the roll of toilet paper by those citizens that lacked it, but more importantly recreate the moment of supreme happiness that represents using it for the first time after not having any for a while.

Since happiness is relative, imagine how happy someone that survives an express kidnapping is, another area where the Vice-Ministry is likely to have a strong participation.

It is unclear what the budget for the Vice-Ministry is, but there is some overlap in what it will do. For example, if you manage to get a new passport, should that be paid by the new Ministry, given the happiness that the moment will provide, or should it still be paid by the Ministry of the Interior? Same with Cadivi. If you get your foreign currency for travel, given the happiness that this induces in you and your family, should it come out of Cadivi’s budget or the Vice-Ministry?

The range and scope of the new office is so wide, that eventually the Vice Ministry may become the Government, since the role of Government is essentially to try to make the population happy. The danger however, is that the Vice-Ministry may one day join the opposition when it realizes that nothing will make the people happier than the departure of Chavismo from Government.

44 Responses to “Venezuela Creates Vice Ministry For Supreme Happiness”

  1. […] new Venezuelan Ministry for Supreme Happiness seems unlikely to help unless it plans to disband the Government and deport all Cuban […]

  2. Pereira4165 Says:

    Religion, spiritual

  3. Mitch Says:

    JAJAJAJA ….good sarcastic shit in this one……Seriously who thinks up this insanity? Maduro? Celia? TIbisay?? Someone must be behind this excellent way to siphon more money away from where it is needed…The “pajarito” must have been singing to someone…!!

  4. Clearly an strategy to deviate public opinion from the real economic problems of the country. Even though I completely oppose the government, I reckon they are really good at creating “pan y circo” .

  5. firepigette Says:

    People have to be particularly naive to believe this rubbish that claims to accurately measure happiness.It is all political BS.There are so many factors that would skew the results that it is hopeless to even begin- starting from how one perceives happiness, with concomitant cultural differences, to choices, to one’s values in admitting the truth and sharing that truth with others.

    • Ronaldo Says:

      The point is that Chavismo is not measuring happiness but they are defining and dictating happiness. They will decide what creates happiness. No opinion surveys or other sources of error will be considered.

      Of course, happiness for Maduro and high-level Chavistas will be based solely on how much they can steal from the country.

  6. jau Says:

    Top candidates to the happy ministry:

    1. jorge rodriguez (a happy go lucky funny man)
    2. jose vicente rangel (he has a pristine aura, such a happy fellow)
    3. izarra (hyena laughing king)

  7. Canadian Says:

    Half of Venezuelans would be happier if Chavez alive and be trialed some day.

    • Ronaldo Says:

      Happiness increased for 99.9% of people on the planet. Nasty dictators, drug kingpins, and those on the Chavez dole had their happiness decline slightly. They knew Maduro was coming.

  8. Ira Says:

    Well, I know there was an almost 50% increase in happiness when Hugo dropped dead.

  9. Ira Says:

    I can’t remember which country it is:

    Somewhere in Asia, or Mircronesia, there’s a country that ranks happiness as part of its GDP, or something like that.

    But they’re actually successful at it.

    There was a 60 Minutes piece or similar on the subject, and it was fascinating. Like, they would balance tearing down forestry against its impact on the happiness of the people living near there.

    Sound familiar to anyone here?

  10. Boludo Tejano Says:

    Fausta’s Blog has linked the Devil’s article on the Happiness Ministry, and has also linked to another article of interest: How Venezuela’s Military Tried to Fly A Ton of Cocaine to France.

    …Camero told InSight Crime that police in France, Italy and Spain had launched a joint investigation some months previous, operating undercover in Europe and Venezuela without the knowledge of the Venezuelan government. “They could not tell the Venezuelan government what was going on, because they knew that high-ranking Venezuelan military officials were involved.”

    Italian police managed to infiltrate the criminal operation, she said, getting details from informants about collaboration between the Venezuelans and the Ndrangheta, the powerful Italian mafia who are estimated to control 80 percent of the cocaine coming into Europe. The ‘Ndrangheta were due to receive the shipment, which Camero believes was originally purchased by the GNB from the FARC in the border state of Apure…
    The Venezuelan arrests are pure window dressing, says Mayorca, and do not target those truly responsible. An examination of the financial accounts of the detained has failed to uncover any suspicious transactions, apart from one payment of $57,000 for a house made by the wife on the list (a discovery which sparked her arrest). “That is peanuts,” he said, given the value of the haul estimated at around $270 million by a source close to the French investigation. “Hundreds of millions of dollars changed hands, where is it?”

    So it was a sting from the beginning. It is not a surprise the sting was done without giving any knowledge of the operation to the Venezuelan government, given the involvement of certain government officials in narcotrafficing. The European authorities should know which Venezuelan government officials were involved. It would appear that they have not passed this information onto Venezuelan authorities, if those who were arrested in Venezuela were “pure window dressing.”

    • Kepler Says:

      What I found amazing is how the regime started to “shoot down” cocaine-laden air planes when all this got discovered.

    • Happy Says:

      the last sentenced is flawed. Hundreds of millions did not exchange hands. This is wholesale cocaine thus you calculate using wholesale price ‘delivered at terminal’ Ccs or ‘landed Europe’. This load did not pass the USD $50 million IMO. The amount of dollars that changed hands is between 10 and 15 million IMO.

  11. Noel Says:

    I think that it is a sick exercise in upmanship; the US Constitution gives the freedom to seek happiness and Maduro gives Venezuelans the means, no, the guarantee to reach it.

    George Orwell would have loved it, and the much vaunted Cuban drug industry will provide the Soma pills.

  12. Kepler Says:

    Roy is right

  13. geronl Says:

    Sounds like something out of North Korea. lol

  14. Ronaldo Says:

    The issue is that Chavismo wants to control happiness. They will determine what makes Venezuelans happy and all people must comply. As in North Korea, as Carolina says, Venezuelans will learn to smile when Maduro makes a motion.

    Arepas, toilet paper, a free press, and no traffic apparently are not on the official list of items that give happiness to the Pueblo.

    In no way is the new Ministry of Happiness meant to let people decide what constitutes happiness. One less freedom. The U.S. Constitution guarantees freedom of the pursuit of happiness. Maybe Maduro’s hate for the U.S. made him go the other way.

  15. Roy Says:

    One of the tactics in Chavez’s playbook was to do things that were absurd or clownish. By doing this, he got himself painted in the international press as “crazy, but harmless”. Think about it… Which will the casual reader recall longer? Crackdowns on press freedoms, or the creation of a Happiness Ministry?

  16. Carolina Says:

    I’m out of words with this.
    I feel like I’m watching a play of Moliere, but adapted by Corin Tellado. Absurd with corny to its max. Not sure if it’s funny or sad.

    Add to the mix images from North Korea, where everything is so perfect, everybody smiling, everybody controlled.

  17. Alex Says:

    Otra pa’ los greatest hits de Nico Maduro. Pero el #1 sigue siendo:

  18. Avila Says:

    And yet the Venezuelan people are often rated as among the happiest people on the planet:

    Oddly, this was initiated by Chavez a year ago:

    Now any other country we might actually be intrigued by a high level government vice ministry, but because Venezuela has become epidemically incompetent in administering anything, expect Venezuela’s happiness to go down. Which may actually be a good thing, since that might cause the people to end this dozen years of mismanagement. Seriously: Crime way up, but still happy. Inflation way up, but still happy. Can’t buy Arena Pan and toilet paper, but still happy. Venezuela has a remarkable resilience that allows them to stay positive–in fact the second highest levels in the world according to Gallup:

    Anyone know who this Vice Minister of Happiness is? His name is Rafael Rios and his real task apparently is coordinating the 30 Missions. You know the ones that improved health, literacy, food distribution, micro-economic initiatives, and who can even remember them all?

    • firepigette Says:

      Whether or not we perceive ourselves as happy or as unhappy has more to do with ego identification than with any accurate measurement.And much less can we accurately compare ourselves to others on this issue.Any polling on that level will have only political manipulation in mind.

  19. m_astera Says:

    I thought you were joking about the name, but nope: Viceministerio para la Suprema felicidad social del pueblo venezolano.
    Orwellian doublespeak. Straight out of Stalinist USSR in the 1930s or Maoist China in the 1950s. These people are going backwards.

    • Happy Says:

      What about DPRK? It’s straight out of their playbook. Checkout the VICE special on the Denis Rodman visit to North Korea.

      • Happy Says:

        Checkout HBO VICE “Inside North Korea” [2010] and “The Hermit Kingdom.” [2013]. It’s the best HD footage I have seen. References to ‘happiness’ everywhere

  20. Canadian Says:

    The ministry is going to prove that MONEY can not buy happiness. But the government can give it for FREE.

  21. Humberto Says:

    ROFL’ing. Too funny.

  22. Roger Says:

    If they put Drugs in the Harina PAN that might work but, then they would need more and more Harina PAN!

  23. Beatrz Lopez Says:

    Pretty soon we’ll have the Ministry of crazy walks like the one shown in Monty Python! from the sublime to the ridiculous!

  24. Island Canuck Says:

    Just to illustrate your point here are a bunch of people graciously sharing some bags of Arena PAN.
    Well worth a look.
    The Happiness ministry has a lot of work to do.

  25. Wanley Says:

    Luis Herrera would be so proud. In his goverment he had a Minister for developing intelligence. (Ministerio para el Desarrollo de la Inteligencia)

    • Beatrz Lopez Says:

      The man has allowed the position to go to his head. He’s in a state of euphoria. He will have to be carried away in a straight jacket and interned in Barbula.

  26. VJ Says:

    Probably this was an excellent idea of Jose Arcadio Buendia, the founding patriarch of Macondo. (One Hundred Years of Solicitude…)

  27. concerned Says:

    I would venture to say that the only one experiencing moments of supreme happiness may be the one appointed this ministery, each and every time they checked the balance of their offshore account.

  28. Standing ovation!!!! Clap clap clap clap…

    • Luis Miguel Segovia Aular Says:

      Nothing done by a Communist regime is meaningless.
      This Department will coordinate all missions, already in decline.
      This decline may not be perceived when the benefit receiver turns his head with hope to this Deputy Minister who is to coordinate al the “Misiones” and will be he who will rectify the errors.
      It will only run the wrinkle but in politics, in a pre-election period, that gives relief to the this ruinous venezuelan government.
      If not, why at this time the PSUV has that margin of acceptance ?
      That is aimed at the “depauperados” who only have illusion and nothing to loose…!

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