This column in Tal Cual was originally published in 2005. Note in particular the sentence about the fact that there is no censorship because not a single TV station has been shutdown. Humor is certainly necessary, the problem is when the humor only tells us how crude our reality is.
The History Chavez by Laureno Marquez in Tal Cual
As Poleo told someone: Everything has been said, but since nobody seems to pay attention, everything has to be repeated….Up to the end of history.
(Warning: Some things are written before their time. This article was already published in this page (2005, to be specific). I came back to it because I thought it recover its meaning in the light of the recent announcements that cable TV should also be in cadena (obligatory broadcast of Chavez’s speeches). If at the moment of its publication it seemed like an exercise in humor-fiction, now I think it can be a pathetic reality. Some names have been change or omitted to protect the innocent (that is, the author) because in 2005 on would not apply self-censorship as much, nor had the fear like we do now.
I have also cut it a bit, not so much because of fear, but because t at its time it was extensive, with this warning it may be insufferable.
Any likeness that remains, after the cuts, with circumstances or real names are purely coincidental (with the reality that insists in coinciding with what one writes and not the other way around)
20th Century Fo, Parameao Pictures and Endogenous Productions present the new subscription channel using cable that will change the way we look at history: The History Chavez
Weekly Programming
–Every Sunday at 19 hours (If we have time) Biographies
Learn the true history of Esteban de Jesus and change your image of this imperialistic manipulation has introduced in your mind. Follow the life story of this man who from his beginnings as a street vendor selling little spiders in Sabaneta de Barinas, up to the unquestionable Latin American leadership he has today.
—Every Monday at 18 hours: Mysteries of history.
What truly happened on April 11th? watch a group of fascist military officers and assasins, following the instructions of George. W. Bush, go after a Government that, more democratic, would simply be impossible. They claim tyranny But where is the tyranny. We have not shut down a single TV channel here… You can not miss this documentary.
Veracity guaranteed.
—Every Wednesday at midnight: Mysteries of the Bible
A passionate tale of the relationship between the church and the Government in thee apocalyptic times. Was Jesus a communist? Was his plan to multiply the fish and the loaves of bread the first endogenous process? Were the merchants of the temple the first neoliberal savages? Find out why our maximum leader carries a crucifix in the pocket of his jacket. Find out why Christ is the supreme commander of the revolution.
See the expulsion of the demons from the body of a pastor of the church during a rally in Agenda Bolivar… All of this and more in Mysteries off the Bible.
—Every Saturday at 7: Stigmata: Marked forever. Does the Tascon list really exist?
Learn the true story of the former workers of PDVSA, kicked out during the strike and understand why these dangerous criminal cannot be hired anywhere.
Judge by yourself the reasons that fired them to execrate those that had signed and see in detail how these undercover agents of the CIA work.
The History Chavez transmitted free and soberly by you cable operator. Coming Soon!
The Devil's Excrement 