Archive for May 15th, 2012

Maldonado’s Perfectly Bolivarian Triumph

May 15, 2012

Sorry I am late to the celebration of Maldonado’s triumph in the Spanish Grand Prix, I was otherwise occupied with other less significant matters. But I did not want to pass up the opportunity to join in the celebration of this victory, which despite all of the confusion, is perfectly consistent with the Bolivarian revolution.

Let’s start with the contract, which is perfectly and absolutely illegal. Thus, this a Bolivarian project at its very roots. And somehow Williams defends the confidentiality of this pristine contract, like so many others signed under dubious conditions by the Chavez Government. It even makes you wonder if there is more than they are trying to hide, another perfect coincidence within the ideals of the Bolivarian revolution, including threats to a Deputy investigating it.

But think of the benefits, all the publicity to encourage Venezuelans to visit their local PDVSA gas station.

Then, take the sport. A perfectly socialist sport. A sport for the masses. A sport that creates discipline. Since most of the races take place in far away places and at odd hours, it forces you to wake up early, stay up late, watch the time, make sure you are there on time. In addition, with a country that is 17th. in the world in traffic deaths, by watching the races, people can learn useful skills. Not only can they learn how to drive, how to avoid accidents, but that despite the speed and the recklessness, you can actually get there alive, complete the race,  something that we are beginning to forget.

Moreover, thanks to Maldonado’s backing, Venezuelans of all classes, can now perform Patriotic Tourism, thanks to Venetur, which offers the possibility of following Pastor Maldonado’s route:

Ever wanted to go to Japan, Australia, Europe? Bothered by exchange controls? It does not matter, because in a country with tight and absolute exchange controls, Venetur and the Bolivarian revolution can bypass it all. If Monaco is your dream, here are the offers to go to Monaco, if you are a true patriot:

Yes! solidarity rates of less than US$ 1,000 double occupancy, including hotel, breakfast and tickets to a full weekend of races in Monaco. A revolutionary’s dream! Better than Varadero and with no secret police looking over you! And as you can see in the red oval, it does not matter if you used your CADIVI quota, because this is all a new parallel mechanism to promote Patriotic Tourism, you pay in Bolivars and the Bolivarian Government will give you all of the above via a magic and unregistered process that nobody had ever heard of, to obtain foreign currency for travel. Just imagine what high ranking PDVSA executives get to go see the same races, maybe even the Paddock seats for only 4000 euros!

Transparency you say? No, that is for irrelevant things like medicines or foodstuffs, not for truly Patriotic Tourism.

And if you are one of those complaining about US$ 83 million for the William’s contract. Come on! Don’t be such a cry baby! Can you think of a better use given the results of the revolution in the last thirteen years? We don’t need hospitals, nor medicines, we need circus, and Pastor truly provides it! US$ 83 million? Spare change compared to a Sukhoi jet fighter or 1,000 untrained Cuban doctors!

As for Pastor, he is certainly a skilled driver, given his recent victory and we must all congratulate him. This is in the end a criollo sport. He learned it here, on our very own dangerous roads and highways. I don’t know if he is really pro-Chavez or not, but we must pay him tribute. He has realized the Venezuelan dream. He got the Bolivarian revolution to pay him US$ 83 million a year, to do what he wants and likes and do it all outside of Venezuela. It did not even matter if he won or not. He jumps from city to city around the world, traveling first class or on private planes with his car on board to boot and dozens of people taking care of him, as if he was truly rich. At the same time, he comes to Venezuela as little as possible and when he does, he has the use of armored cars and bodyguards and even gets to visit the President, who calls him a great Venezuelan.

A true Venezuelan and revolutionary dream. A victory for viveza criolla. Individualistic, oligarchic, with lots of money and all done without even having to visit the country. And you have them all eating out of your hand.

Kudos, Pastor! A perfectly coherent Bolivarian triumph!