I wrote
yesterday about Alberto Barreda, who won the Herralde prize for his novel “La
Enfermedad” it is only fitting that I translate his short piece in his Sunday
column entitled “Barter”, based on Chavez’
latest harebrained idea about barter and currencies.
Barter by Alberto Barrera Tyszka in
El Nacional
Comrade:
The reason
for the present email is to reaffirm the radical, revolutionary and Bolivarian character
of the last project that lucidly has been offered to us by our unbeatable commander
in chief. We believe that barter is the most novel instrument to build XXIst. Century
Socialism, That is why we are calling on you to add your backing to this
popular initiative to propose to the President the creation of Mision Trueque
(Mision Barter).
Our idea, it
is to be said, is that barter become a participatory, popular, ideological and
endogenous practice. For example, I want to exchange my piece of junk from ’75 for
the BMW of fatso Ameliach (Chavez’ former campaign manager). Without complications
of dirty money mediating it. Presto! Just like that. Comrade Efren also wants
to barter. He has a little house up there beyond San Blas. He wants to barter
it evenly with the Foreign Minister… He does not mind the size or the
location. Any piece of shit with a kitchen and a bathroom that Maduro owns will
be a gain for him. My mate Lisbeth will barter her clothes for any of the rags
that comrade Cilia Flores bought in New
York…We have brothers in the movement so enthusiastic
that they are thinking that certain wider criteria can be included in the
operations. What do you think about bartering husbands and wives, which have
been using each other for a while?
Comrades:
This is our opportunity. The true revolution begins here. Giving and giving it
back. If you want to back us and manage the consolidation of our mission, add
your signature below and, in exchange, we will give you a new national ID
number.
Barter or Death. We shall win
. 
The Devil's Excrement 
