Archive for July 6th, 2010

The rambling, illogical mind of the Chavista revolution

July 6, 2010

(The commune will give you all the power that I feel like giving to you)

PSUV: Communists? No, we are not communists, ask the Venezuelan Communist party (PCV)

PCV: Communism? No, why would we want communism in Venezuela? This is a media campaign against the Government of Hugo Chavez which clearly states that it is Socialist, not communist. This is just the opposition, trying to accuse us of being communist. We have been communists for a long time, but really, a communist country in Venezuela? We really don’t want that.What we want is communes. That is soooo different. The root is the same, the word is way different.

Aristobulo: Remember me? I am no longer around, but boy I would love to be somebody in Chavez’ Government, so I come on TV every two weeks and defend Chavez. Today’s version: “The opposition flip flops between terrorism and elections” Sounds good, no? Hope Chavez sees it and he forgets that I talked about him smoking an egg roll.I don’t want to live in a commune, I have too much money for that.

Minister of Communication: We don’t understand why the opposition keeps talking about rotten food and forgets the sacred burial of Simon Bolivar’s mistress Manuelita Sanz. They are not patriots. What could be more important than her burial. They want to deny our history. The food may be rotten, but we brought Manuelita’s remains into the country. Both rotten, but we are very happy, after all, we would all like to be you know who’s mistress.

Chavez: The Cardinal is a troglodyte, this is really an endearing term. It has nothing to do with communism. It has to do with the Catholic church in Venezuela, they are bourgeois, they love to have their …hand kissed. But listen to Escarra, we may like communism after all. The church does not want communes.

Chorus: The words commune and communism are similar, but they are not even related. It is all coincidental. Chavez wants communes, but not communism. It is very simple. The Communist Party is pro-communes, not pro-communism. It’s like saying Fidel is a communist, No, times have changed. Cuba has matured, so has Venezuela. We only want communes, no opposition, no communism. Can you opposition people please leave the country? It would make our life and that of the communes so much easier. In fact,  if you guys leave, we could get a higher percentage of the vote. Like Fidel.

So, just remember, communes not equal communism, opposition should leave, church should leave. Aristobulo can stay.

Get it?