Michael Moore and removing Saddam Hussein without violence

March 30, 2003

When I first saw this quote by Michael Moore of Oscar night fame:

“Saddam Hussein is a brutal dictator,” he added, “and I hope he’s removed as soon as possible. But nonviolently.”

I was sure it had to be fake. I thought nobody that can make a documentary could be so stupid. Well, it turns the statement is true. Get rid of Saddam using nonviolent means…ummm….let me see, we could have an election to get rid of him….no, that would not work, we alredy did and he got 100% of the votes last fall. Maybe he could be invited to leave…that has been tried too….Oh, well, I am out of ideas. I think Mr. Moore should be more specific, the best idea I have heard so far is this one by Jim Treacher:

Good idea! First we’ll coax Saddam out of his bunker with a trail of delicious candy. Then, once his belly is full and he’s all sleepy and happy, we’ll calmly explain that we don’t approve of what he’s been doing and it’s not very nice and we wish he’d stop. And he’ll be like, “Whoa, I never thought of it that way. You guys are my friends! I like you!” And then everybody will hug and cry, and then get a little embarrassed about crying, and then make some jokes to cover up being embarrassed. And then a beautiful rainbow will appear, and a shy unicorn will walk down it, and Saddam will ride the unicorn to the North Pole, and he’ll spend the rest of his life helping Santa make wonderful toys for all the good little girls and boys, and there’ll be hot chocolate, and, and, and, and nobody will ever ever die again for any reason ever. THE END.

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